2And John's tribe, numbered fournoscore, amongst them his wife Traceth, Anthonias the son of John and John's daughter Alison.
3And lo the Lord had seen fit to snow upon the land and freezeth the water unto blackened ice. Twas slippery indeed. Darkness had fallen upon the land of John.
4And John having led the journey afar had turned the reigns of the iron camel to Traceth for the journey homeward. "Alison is weary with travel and hath fallen into a deep sleep. I shall carry my daughter to her tent" sayeth John.
5"Do ye imagine to traverse the frozen land with heavy load risking life and limb, for surely your daughter is not so weary to walk?" sayeth Traceth.
6"Verily I say unto you my wife: I am man. You are woman. Knoweth your place and silence your tongue as I do my bidding without fail for I AM MAN" sayeth John.7 As time passed John lifted his daughter down from the beast and did carry her upon his mighty chest. Upon entering the main tent the big toe of his left foot encountered the ice that the Lord had placed upon the ground. With a loud snap John became brokenfooted with multiple fractures of the leg. Loud cries such of that of a great wounded beast were heard throughout the land of gravied foods and all who heard the wailing were afraid.
8 And so John lay upon the ground writhing in agony weeping the tears of a small girl child. "Oh Lord, why have you smote the ankle of your servant? Oucheth! I say unto thee. Why does it hurteth so freaking much? Oh man, this is really, really bad." thus sayeth John.
9 After some time the physician cut John open rendering metal unto his shattered bones and mending his wounds with string and sent him on his way. After many months all was healed and the lesson was learned. "Yes dear" now sayeth John as well as "I shall tempt the Lord's great slipperiness never again."
OK, so I broke my ankle. Yes, I should have listened to Traceth, er, I mean Tracy. I've learned several things.
1) I don't much like narcotics.
2) Messing with medical staff is fun.
3) I have a lot of friends who are trying to make me fat in this period of no exercise.
4) Ice is slippery.
5) Stairs are kryptonite.
I'll let you know if I garner any deep insights from this accident but in the meantime I'm pretty much rendered stupid from the pain medication.
3 comments:
I am grev-ed to heareth of your affliction. Glad you didn't hurteth your off-spring.
Thus sayeth the LORD; "A proud man is likened to an ass that doth carry heavy burdens upon the icy path. When that man falleth, woe to that one. I smiteth thee, that thou might turn from thy pride and receiveth mine healing mercies.
This is great info to know.
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