Dear Citizens,
Mr. Martini. I love your bar. That Nick fella is one cheery dude. Of course, in the "sans George Bedford Falls" (SGBF) you weren't around so I 'm assuming you were toast or otherwise occupied in some ne'er-do-well vocation. Perhaps you were a bootlegger like my Italian great Grandad in nearby Watkins Glen. Regardless, it's good to know that there are garlic-eaters (tip 'o' the hat to Potter) who aren't too shy to load a goat into car with their kids. By the way, what the heck was Mary thinking when she said "Mr. Martini, how about some wine" in the final scene? Does she think that since you own a bar you cart hooch around with you wherever you go and that you had enough to pour drinks for 50+ people? Thanks for busting open-da-juke-a-de-box.
Mr. Gower. Turns out you were ok, even after you administered frontier justice on young George by repeatedly smacking him on his bad ear drawing small amounts of blood. You drooled a lot when you were drunk, especially so in Martini's in SGBF but hey, that's not a crime. It was very nice of you to buy George a suitcase for not ratting you out over the poison capsules (which is a crime). Mighty nice.
Nick. Best quote ever. "We serve hard drinks for men who want to get drunk fast and we don't need no characters around to give the joint atmosphere". Of course that was in SGBF so again, you are forgiven. It was nice of you to hand out wings and to restrain yourself from belting Clarence in the face with your meaty left for a convincer.
Harry. Brother of George. Eats Committee Chairman. Athlete. Married that hot babe and took a job with her dad. Time after time you left George holding the bag. Nice. You did save a transport of soldiers and you give a mean toast so you've got that going for you.
Violet. Hootchie mama.
Carter, Bank Examiner. Hope you got to spend CHRISTMAS in ELMIRA with your FAMILY. You had very few lines but that one was delivered with panache and aplomb.
Mary Hatch Bailey. I always wondered why your vision went bad in SGBF. Perhaps lighting up like a firefly when George was around had some physiological effect that helped you maintain 20-20 vision. Apart from your assumptions about Mr. Gower's Jesus-like ability to produce wine out of nothing, you are one swell cookie.
Potter. Henry Potter. Scorner of garlic-eaters and discontented rabble. Malfeasance! Manipulation! Misappropriation of funds! You are the original Grinch. Dare I say your brain is full of spiders and YOU have garlic in your soul. I wouldn't touch you with a thirty nine and a half inch pole. It WAS kind of cool when you made George sit in the low chair and drop the cigar in his lap. Other than that, you suck eggs. And that goes for your toadies. And that goes for your other toadies too!
Uncle Billy. You're a fun loving, dimwitted lush. Don't we all have an Uncle Billy somewhere? If I were George I think I'd trust the deposits to cousin Eustice. Watch those garbage cans, William.
Clarence, ASII. Sent from God to save George. I'm sorry that you didn't get to enjoy a mulled wine, heavy on the cinnamon, light on the cloves but I am glad that SGBF Nick didn't sprawl you out like a cheap throw rug. I'm also glad you got your wings. You deserve 'em.
Zuzu. Nakesake of our wiener dog. 'Nuff said.
George Bailey. Our hero. Takes a punch pretty well. Not afraid to dive into choppy waters to save a stranger. Likes a few pops when the chips are down. Not a praying man but prays pretty well nonetheless. Bad driver. Your melt down in the living room was pretty good but you could take a few pointers from Clark Grisowld. Richest man in town. We love you man.
Peace out,
John
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3 comments:
Funny how that movie reduces me to a sappy mess every time I see it. Every time.
Indeed, it's my yearly sniffle.
Bert. beat cop. In SGBF you were one tough cookie, but an awful shot. "stand back everybody," you yell as you shoot your pistol (I imagine for the first time), missing George about 6 times. Took a good punch from a confused George as he ran past. maybe that's why you couldn't hit the broad side of a building and loan.
ernie. cab driver. why aren't there more cabbies in small towns? Akron needs a cabbie. you informed Bert that you had a nutcase in the car. sounds like sans George you were having a pretty tough go of it. don't know how the two of you guys couldn't manage to pin George down in that drafty ol' house.
funny how two guys who once serenaded George and Mary, turn out so gnarly in his absense. Also funny how your names are better known by my 3 year old as the good buddies on "sesame street". Jim Henson must have loved this movie too.
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